I went to see the Dalai Lama recently. What an amazing man. The part of His message that stuck with me the most was about having compassion for everyone.  But he also said that if they are not prepared to accept it from you, to turn away and move on, and wish them peace.  That wasn't something I expected him to say.  I know some folks might think that, by not fighting and pressing your views and beliefs on others and bullying them in to agreeing with you, it's a sign of weakness.  (This is something we in the US are notorious for).  It actually takes greater strength to walk away, than to bully.  Bullies are usually hiding their fear behind their anger.  Making others feel small isn't strength, it's cowardace.

We can't look at having compassion as being weak, or being "a door mat".  It's not about throwing away your power, it's about claiming it.  It's about knowing your boundaries, and maintaining those, but also, not judging and demeaning others to make yourself feel more powerful.  We never know when a simple word,or act of kindness will change someones day, even someones life.  We may never know what it meant to that person, but that's not the point.  The point is that instead of being on the offensive, and building walls, we open the doors and windows and let our light, our compassion, shine out.  Some people won't like it, some people will see it as foolish or weak, and some will wither in it's intensity.  That's their perception, and it's on their heads to learn and accept, or turn away. That doesn't make the giver weak, it makes them strong.  What the recipient does with the gift you give is their decision, not yours.  I once had someone tell me, when we were talking about giving money to people who were panhandling...I had said something like "They'll just go out and spend it on booze or drugs."  The person I was talking to said, "So what if they do?  That doesn't diminish the good deed you did.  If you gave them that money with good intention, then you own the good deed, and that is repaid to you.  What they choose to do with that money once it leaves your hands is on them. You relinquish any control over that money as soon as it leaves your fingers. And you really never know if it's that dollar you give, or that smile or that kind word, that might be the pebble that starts the avalanche that changes someone's whole life.  That's not for you to judge.  Just give with good intention, own that, and let go of the judgement of the person you've given to."   It sounds so simple, and it should be.  If we held that in our hearts, everyday, what a wonderful world we would have.

It does bother me to hear people say they don't want to be compassionate, because they're worried people will walk all over them.  Believe me, that's your choice to make, no ones else's. You can choose to be strong and compassionate, or allow them to wipe their feet on you. Taking the path of compassion is a much harder road to take, but well worth it in the end. When I find my self overwhelmed by the stronger personalities around me, (and I remember to do it..), I always feel better for having taken the peaceful road, rather than the rocky highway. There are times I would rather just rather keep my mouth shut, than to get in to a conflict.  That has to do with my need for peace and tranquility, and I HATE confrontation and conflict.  I want to run in the other direction when a situation comes to that.  But let someone threaten or intimidate someone who is in a weaker position, or one of my family, watch OUT!  But I'm also working on that aspect, too.  I do have a bit of a temper.  Maybe when I'm ninety, I'll get there..

 So it comes down to not only having compassion, but tolerance.  It's not my job to force others believe as I believe, but to share my insights as I see them, the way I perceive them.  It's not my job to judge others' beliefs, either.  Mutual respect, compassion and tolerance.  That's it. We are all fighting the same battle, it's each person's choice what form of shield they use.  Let's help, not hurt.  Honor, not harm. Be the first to smile, a real heartwarming smile, it will lift your spirits, too.